Utterly ANYTHINGNESS!

Another day has gone by and what have i been doing? Oh just the same old same old. *smiles* *laughs* Well it is raining at the moment. A pretty light rain i supposed but i don’t think i will want to go out to get my car in yet. Probably it will get tinier then only will i go out and take the car in. *laughs* As you know i am rather the lazy one so maybe not or maybe way later. Who knows? *laughs* I am just very lazy to walk outside now so stop giving me those stupid looks. Yeah! Me talking to you! You hear me? No? WHEEEE! *laughs* Okay, so i have been like gone for ages. That i would say not really cause i have only been gone for a few weeks. Nothing much. It is just a couples of days which turns into weeks. It is not that bad right? It is like no one really bother to check me anyway. So i guess i should just stay somewhere in the background and no one will know about it. Guess i have succeeded. So why am i blogging now? Well, i do have something i would like to share so that is why me blog today. Although i am the lazy kind, i like typing. Believe it or not. *BELIEVE IT* *laughs* As for the entry today, i know it ain’t the normal way i right my blogs but believe me, it is me. Nothing will change that really. If that would had happened, please directly call me on my head. I will be waiting there. *smiles* As for the thing that i would like to share is that i have finished exams and now not on holiday and going back to school for classes. That is all about it. It is very the way of life for me now. As for the subjects, they are all about research now and i don’t really know where to start. *laughs* classes are really rare now as we only have two subjects left and one project. As for german, well that would be the extra which i am taking! *laughs* so basically, it is only 4 hours in school and it is home time! YAY! me likey my new timetable but it is a bit spread out. Yet it is just fun! *laughs* so this is me reporting in for the first time *something decent* in my blog. *laughs* Have fun and take care! Praise the Lord always! God bless! hehehe

The pain from yesterday, was it real? The miracles that happened today, were they real? The things that i had done, will it ever be known? The things that i don’t want to be known doing of, will i get caught? Whatever that i do, will i ever know is it right or wrong? I just don’t know what i am supposed to do right now. The internal struggles between myself is just making me go round in circles. Dizzy i might be but the pain surpasses all. Why do i even bother about doing stuff that in the end just kill me inside. Poisoning myself little bit by little. Just so i can suffer unknowingly? I guess that is how it is. Things done are inevitable. Everything that i do must have an opposite reaction to it either good or bad. Maybe i am thinking too much. Maybe the pain is giving me brain surge. I do not know as much as what my brain wishes doing. All i know that if i can change myself and change the things that i will do, would it be a change to all others too? That would be the hardest answer that i would ever get in this lifetime. Consequences are everywhere. I might not be the one who will pay for it but it will be done. It is just a matter of time and place. Not necessary to put effort as things just come into place. I would say this as i would want to run. Being the person of so many thoughts just kills the cells that live within me. I should stop. Stop once and for all. Can i do that? Will i be able to do that? What makes me so sure? I can make no promise. I can make no judgment. What i can do is just be me in this time. I will be me.

hehe.. have fun and enjoy. Take care and God bless! Praise the Lord always!

Taking life as it is, we all want to be known of something that we do. We might not want to admit it but definitely somewhere in us, we are wanting people to see what we have done. Something that will have a significant meaning to others. It seems like we don’t care what other people think about us doing the stuff that we did, but really we do care and want the acknowledgment of what we did. Everything that we do means something to us. That is why it is important that sometimes we receive the compliments for the stuff that we had done. Either big or small, a little compliment won’t hurt. But don’t make it to big either cause it might get to you and you will be a little different from yourself. Need i say more? I don’t think so. I guess that is a national language known by everyone. *smiles* Well just saying this makes it weird doesn’t it? oh well, the author is crazy. What more can you expect anyway?  *laughs* So without a bit of laughter and making your stomach a little painful, it is just an everyday stuff. *laughs* So what else is in the mind of this crazy one? hahaha.. i don’t know but i do know that i will be just writing oh so many weird things that doesn’t really concern me. Isn’t that awesome? hahaha… don’t ask me why but that is just the way i like to do it. hahahaha… so why not give a little compliment to that?? haha… as i said… a little compliment would be nice. But if you see it as unnecessary, then it is. hahaha… doesn’t really matter to me. REALLY! Trust me. hahaha… oh well… have fun and take care now. God bless! Praise the Lord always!

Going through the day as if anything never did happened would be a lie. Then what would you be doing if you woke up if nothing did happened? Now that you see, it is a thing that you had done but then it is considered everyday stuff and thus not considered a thing anymore. Indeed that is a thing that we do everyday, isn’t it? Oh well, whatever the case might be, we are still doing something everyday that makes our day a bit better or worst. Doing this day by day, the body reaches this rhythm and makes that a habit. Isn’t that cool? We don’t have to do it, it just moves by itself! Oh yeah! So that is that. What else needs explaining? Nothing? Okay! Then i guess i will be off to do my own stuff now. Which i don’t know what i will be doing. But in any case, why don’t i tell you a story. A story about a boy who went to sleep. Yes? Okay, cool! So once upon a time, where there was this boy whose name was D. He was the weirdest person that everyone knew. Why did everyone knew him? Well it is because he likes to sleep. Everyday. No fail. He would just sleep and sleep and sleep. Thus one day he woke up. Did not know the reason. He just did. Maybe the sleep had no effect on him anymore. So he went around town. Not knowing of anything or anyone. Just himself wondering why does everyone knows me but i don’t know anyone? Then he keeps walking and found a place. He then settle down and sat there for a moment. He felt that it is quite comfortable. Then he continued to sit down and then gradually lie down. Then he eyes began to shut. Thus he went to sleep and that is the story of the boy who went to sleep. Hope you liked it. I know i did! have fun now and take care. God bless! Praise the Lord always!

Fleeting time is indeed one of the best pastime there is to offer but with an advantage? I do not know. Once it has past, none will return due to the time that keeps going on. Why is that? I do not know either. What we make out of it is just the way it is. Try to keep it better than worst is all we could do. Yet sometimes the situation gets out of hands and thus everything that we worked on seems useless. Is the way the fleeting time works? It is still an unknown by all circumstances. Why do we even care about this things when everything can be in another way? Perhaps the reason is we are all proud and not wanting to change the idea that other have in mind. Maybe we want our idea, our storm of the brain to come out to be reality. In that case, could it be possible to live according to all our fantasies? That would be the question of one that will make you think but never too deeply as the answer is just right before you. You would either choose that or this but in the end it all comes to over that. Not making sense, think it as what it is and it will be. All thought is acceptable and non is being ridicule. Accept the wonderful ideas thought out by the same species that we live by. Give it a little thought of what they are trying to express through themselves. It might change your little idea into a bigger one and little by little everything will come together and combining all ideas together, reality comes in and making your very idea come to life. Life as it is, is very complicated but to make it even more complicated, it would be yourself. Do not understand will be us. To understand would be yourself. Life is making things hard and that is the reason you are the one who is the one who will be making it easier for life for you.

Coming back to the blog is indeed very nice… :p but i don’t think i will be posting everyday now… so yeah.. come back sometime to check me out… hahaha.. well have fun and take care. Praise the Lord always! God bless!

Everything to be left. Drop everything and i will be gone. No more of this nonsense that i live in. No more responsibility to bother me. I will just leave everything and go on the path that i had already planned of. No one can stop me anymore. Nothing can stop me. I will not let anything hinder me. I will just move forward and live the way i want it to be. My plan has gone into action. I will be forever lost. I will be not found by you. Though you find for me, I will not be found. No matter how hard you try, it is futile. What you trying to do would be fruitless for i had already said what i had said. Nothing you do will tell me otherwise. I am sorry if i had hurt any of you. I am sorry that i had to do now but before i am doing it, i am telling you. Isn’t that not enough for everything? I hope it is. If it isn’t, i will come another time when you will be able to find me, i will apologize for everything. You can come and destroy me at that time. You can punish me for all. I will accept it will out most humility. I will not retaliate. I will not counter. I will just be doing what you want. If that is what that will please you. I will do as you wish. Make a fool out of me and i won’t care. I have already left long time ago. You found me because i let you. To redeem of what i had done to you. Maybe you won’t be able to remember anything but i am already gone. You thought you can have your revenge, but truly nothing is being avenged. All i can say that i congratulate you for finding me, the empty shell. Use it as you seem most appropriate. I hope the shell will bring of good use to you. As for all i will still be the same as i am. Lost where no one or nothing can find. You know me but you do not. Nothing is the same anymore. I have changed to the abstract of what you call life. I will no long be with you. I have ascended to where i want to be. As for now, i will disappear forever.
Take care and have fun. Praise the Lord forever! God bless!

Soon everything will be closed. Soon everything will be deleted. Soon everything will be gone. Nothing will be left. I will not leave a trace of what i had done. The things that i had worked so hard for. Everything will just disappear right before the eyes who watches. The eyes that sees what is going on. Nothing will be left. It is the end for it. It will just be the same as last time. Complete plain. Nothing will be noticed. Nothing will be inside anymore. The memories made will be all gone. Nothing will be remained. Just want to restart everything. The things of last time will be gone from the data base of where i have put them. I will not bother about it. I will not remember it anymore. For what is gone will be gone forever and It cannot be undone. What remains in the past will be in the past. I don’t plan to dig up any of it anymore. What use is it to me of what i wished to be putted behind me? I will no longer touch it. It will be in the forbidden place of no touching. No one will be able to find this place because it is hidden well from all. Even if you did find it, no one will be able to open it unless it is me. Me who wants everything to be gone. Everything to be deleted. Not to ever exist in this reality. No one will ever know the previous stuff. It is all gone now. It is all turned to ashes. No one is able to find it anymore. To be gone forever from me. It will be. That is all i can do. No one can stop me anymore. It is done. That is all. Don’t bother. It is finished. The memory is gone. No more. End.
Random entry Random entry! hehe.. have fun all! hehe.. take care and enjoy! hehe.. Praise the Lord always! God bless! hehe..

Given a specific time limit on what to do something… would you abide to that time limit? If you could alter it? hehehe.. i bet you would just extend it yourself or shorten it based on your preference… haha.. well i guess we all do that don’t we?? hahaha… oh well.. that’s life so yeah… i have been given a time limit to go for dinner… i think i was given 10 minutes.. haha.. and so i said to myself.. can i make a post within 10 minutes?? haha.. so in 10 minutes i will be having dinner so yeah… but i don’t think in 10 minutes we will be eating cause of some factors.. haha.. so i know i can like extend my time to like around 5 more minutes?? haha.. but maybe i don’t need that long for the entry?? maybe i could like just finish it in like ummm… less than 10 minutes?? haha.. but yeah… i want to eat as soon as possible but due to the factor that will slow us down… we can do nothing but wait… so i can say that the time limit given to me is somewhat already discounted from what it is said… so i will be sitting here in front of the monitor typing my new entry… and so to say… you are now reading what i am writing… cool isn’t it?? hahahaha… well thank you.. glad you like it… so yeah… i think i still got another 5 minutes or so… haha… but then the factor that slows that down is still taking time so i don’t think it will be 5 minutes more… and plus i am a bit hungry… hahaha… so what is a hungry man going to do?? haha.. nothing for the food is for all and not just the hungry man… haha.. so yeah… wonderful isn’t it?? haha.. so yeah.. wait wait wait… i think i will go now cause based to the time limit given.. i have one minute left… haha.. to make use of that one minute… i will say my farewells… haha.. have fun and take care! Enjoy! hehe.. Praise the Lord always! God bless!

Taking all my pain from me, I am free from what i am bound with. The hurts that once enslaved me from my usual self. I have been transformed. I have become something new. Bringing out the old, bringing everything that was tying me up. I have undone the rope that invisibly wrap me around. I am now free. I feel i could fly into the sky and never come back down. It is just so wonderful to be able to fly in this limitless blue skies. I do not want to come back down anymore. The satisfactory of flying in the air with no limit, i can compare to none. Shouldn’t we always be flying in the way we like and stare the beautiful horizon? It is as if it is not possible to be in the skies for too long. I am free. I will not let it go so easily. I will sacrifice my life for it. To be in the free horizon that i wish for. It is all that i need. I will no longer come down to the place i was. I will no longer remember of the things that was done to me. I will forget of the things that was inflicted in me. I will just soar on my wings and befriend the skies that is always there. I will never land for it is my only hope of having this wonderful freedom. I will stay as long as i want and nothing will stop me. I will not let anything spoil or anything take my time with the skies. I will be one with the sky forever and forever i will fly. Soaring to the sun where it will lead me, i will continue on. Never giving up or fearing. I will fly on forever.
hahaha.. don’t know what i am writing about but yeah.. it is totally random as i always say in my entries.. haha.. guess you guys know about it so i don’t i should state it anymore.. haha.. ah who knows? haha.. have fun and take care! Enjoy! hehe.. Praise the Lord always! God bless!

Staying at my most comfort spot, I am not moving. Why would i move to somewhere else where i can just be here. I do not plan on moving. I just want to stay here forever. Where i am save and i can do anything i want. I am happy yet i am sad. Why do i feel both feeling at a time. Is it because i had done something wrong in my life and how i am now sitting in this place alone. I don’t understand what wrong did i make. If you could tell me, would you please tell me then. I would gladly turn away from my wrong doing that is causing pain to you. I would do anything if you can just tell me where i was wrong. Anything. I would be very very glad that you are wanting to tell me the wrongs that i had done in the past. Maybe we could be friends once again and we could all play in the comfort spot that i am in now. I don’t want to be alone. I want to play with somebody who would play with me. Anybody that is willing to accompany me. I would be truly grateful. I am still in my comfort spot. I do not wish to step out of it. Am i selfish then? I hope not because i feel safe here. I do not know what is going to happen if i do step out of my comfort zone. I am afraid. Who will bring me and assure me that nothing is going to be wrong if i just step outside the border? If anything does happen, will you abandon me and leave me alone? I do not want that. I want your trust as you have mine. I do not wished to be betrayed by you who i trusted. I am just new to all this. Would you slowly guide me then? I thank you for the things that you have done. I thank you for the patient you have bear with me. You are indeed a friend that i can truly rely on and trust. I respect for who you are that is all that. I wish i could be just like you but i know it is just not possible as i am who i am. I thank you for the things you have done. I just want to say i am sorry if i did anything wrong that i had not known. I will just be in my comfort spot and will be waiting for you.
Praise the Lord all the time! have fun and take care people! hehe.. God bless!